Dieper Dinge Deeper Things

In 1950 Bob Pierce founded World Vision. Today it is one of the world’s largest relief and development agencies reaching more than fifty million people a year in 103 countries. He began small, by helping Korean orphans, but each project grew in size and scope as he worked with relentless energy and vision. A lot was written about his compassion and drive for lost souls. Unfortunately, Bob was not wise in the way he conducted his personal life. He ignored the needs of his immediate family, his own emotions, and the needs of his body.

He all but abandoned his family and by the end of his life he was completely alienated from his wife and children. Relationships with the board of World Vision were also strained and he eventually resigned from World Vision during a highly charged meeting. One biographer wrote that the temper that he had battled all his life got the upper hand more and more often and his behaviour became erratic. A lifetime of eighteen hour work days, unhealthy food and jet lag took its toll on his body and made him susceptible to many physical ailments. He died of leukaemia at age sixty-four.

A few years ago, Craig started a small church cell group that gathered together weekly for a meal, Bible study and prayer. In the beginning, it looked as if the group was functioning well and members were loving and supportive of one another. One day one of the members, Millie, told some other members about a suspected affair between two members of one of the other small groups in the church. The other members told their spouses, under the pretence of being legitimately concerned. By the time the rumour reached Craig, he was astonished that the gossip circulated while the group was studying James 3 on the power of the tongue for good and evil. Not long thereafter, Millie circulated a similar rumour about two of their own group members and soon the cell group disbanded, with many members feeling hurt and betrayed.

In the same church, Dana met Jane, a retired missionary, and was pleased to befriend someone that seemed wise, spiritual and involved in God’s work. After spending time with her she noticed that Jane talked only about other people and what she was doing to help them. She often talked about people in such a way that it put them in a negative light, under the pretence of caring about them and being concerned about their welfare. Jane also regularly gave inappropriate and unasked for advice, simply because she was so self-absorbed that she did not really listen to the person in front of her. One day Dana explained to Jane that, although she appreciated her friendship, this was not compatible with the way Christians are called to live and that she preferred not to hear any more gossip stories. Jane not only reacted in a hostile, sarcastic manner, but also avoided Dana thereafter.

What went wrong in Bob, Millie and Jane’s lives? They were emotionally and spiritually immature. The Bible truths they could recite by heart and teach other people did not reach or change their own hearts. If you listen to and observe the behaviour of many church members today, it is clear that they also have no idea how to live according to the Biblical principles that they talk about.

It seems that we have accepted that you can be a gifted speaker on the pulpit, but an unloving spouse at home; work as a full time missionary, but be unteachable, insecure and defensive; fast and pray regularly as a spiritual discipline, but be critical and judgemental of others. In other words, we do not require ourselves or our brothers and sisters to be spiritually or emotionally healthy and to bear the fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23).

Scripture is clear that for followers of Christ, growing to emotional and spiritual maturity and bearing the fruit thereof in our lives are not optional. The children of God will be known by their fruit. Those who call themselves children of God and do not bear fruit will first be disciplined and if that does not result in fruit, they will be rejected. (Matthew 7:15-20; James 2:18; John 15:5-6).

One of the first steps in growing to maturity is being honest with ourselves and with God. Your Creator God is in relationship with all of who you are. God is interested in all the dimensions and aspects that make up who you are: your spirit, body, personality, emotions, mind, private life, social life, intellect and any other aspect that you can think of.

Christians often ignore their feelings through emotional denial, distortion, or disengagement. We turn a deaf ear to anything disturbing in a desperate attempt to control our inner world. We are frightened and ashamed of our feelings and suppress them lest anyone else see who we are under our neat exterior.

It is unrealistic to think that you can live the fruitful life of a follower of Christ while ignoring the needs of your body or denying your emotions and the effect they have on you. We have to be real and acknowledge all the different needs and voices that form part of who we are.

Many approaches and philosophies throughout history have subordinated the other aspects to the spirit of the person. Bodily needs and emotions, especially anger, are regarded as being opposed to the Holy Spirit. In this way, the repression of feelings has become regarded as a spiritual virtue. Denying depression, ignoring loneliness, suppressing anger and renouncing our sexuality have become an acceptable way of life in many Christian communities.

The different aspects and dimensions of a person are all important and necessary. They are inter-dependent and integrated to such an extent that it is not really possible to separate a person into clearly distinguishable parts. Acknowledging our body’s needs and our emotions does not mean that we are controlled by them. On the contrary, recognising these needs is a necessary first step in the development of self-discipline and spiritual growth. The only way to grow and change is by being brutally honest and completely vulnerable before God.

Churches run well-planned curriculums for Bible study, prayer, discipleship and evangelism, but seldom confront their members about immaturity and sin in their lives. The question arises whether there are enough mature members who are able to disciple others. You are invited to complete this quiz to evaluate your own emotional and spiritual maturity:
Test your emotional and spiritual maturity

Resources:

Scazzero P, Bird W, 2003. The Emotionally Healthy Church. Grand Rapids: Zondervan.